Mom Chronicles #4

 When you have a kid, you spend approximately 99.67% of your time talking to said kid/s. It includes the time you are sleeping and talking to them in dreams or when they are in school and you are mentally planning the day for them or pre-empting their mistakes and tricks and planning around it, etc. 

So, in a nutshell, you're always talking to them. 

And you use a certain mom-language to do it. It's got modulations and frequencies. Like there is a frequency which instantly gets them disciplined, even if only for a second. Or the one where they know they have you wrapped around their tiny little finger!

When I talk to mine, I have observed that I end sentences with an endearment for him. Like bachu, kanna, beta, laddoo, baby, guddu, darling, and so on and so forth. 

If I'm annoyed with him, angry or frustrated or just plain helpless, I stick to his name! But with that modulation I told you about. That is enough for him to understand that he's entering sticky territory. 

Most often he'll defy it and there'll be war like few minutes. It doesn't diffuse on its own you know. It's a huge lesson on how fragile egos can be; Specially in parent-child conflicts and mind games. And boy, let me tell you, kids are unbelievably talented manipulators!!!! They know their way around very well. They also have different tactics for different people and different situations. Little imps, I tell you!

But I digress! Point being, we all speak a certain way with kids. And very often it percolates in our conversations with others too!

- I end up calling my husband 'bachu' sometimes, only to be met with very displeased glances and disapproval from the MIL (he he he)

- sometimes I call my maid 'guddu' and see her guffaw uncontrollably

- I called the neighbour lady "beta" ! She's at least two decades older to me!

You get the drift! These are regular minor ones and I tide over it and sometimes repeat these and move on like a boss!

But it was a slightly anxious encounter when I called a car-reselling-telemarketer 'baby' .... He was thrilled! He called me again the next day to just check if I had changed my mind and if I was now ready to sell a car I don't even have! 

Oh baby!