Wednesday 3 July 2024

Anecdotes from life #1


So I've wanted to write a post, actually a few posts here for a long time. I have tried starting something many times but haven't been able to proceed at all. Maybe because all of those were forced attempts and so the words kinda dried up real quick :-)

But here's one that's flowing rather smoothly as I travel back home from the other home :-)

I was thinking that instead of a full, long, topical, meaningful post, why not I share with you and you share with me some anecdotes from our lives! Hehehe!! 

Life is full of big, special, life-altering moments - but life is really lived in the smaller, every day moments and memories, isn't it! 

So here's a small memory blast from my past! 

When I was younger, my eldest mama (mother's brother) used to suddenly drop by to our home many times, if he was anywhere in the vicinity. Now this Mama of mine - well - words can't do justice to what kind of person he was and the life he led. Suffice to say, he was the black sheep of the family. It's hard to say it like it is - but, sadly, we nieces and nephews also weren't particularly fond of him. However, family is a strange thing. You don't even know what bond you have with someone or how deep a relationship actually runs, until it's tested :)

Anyway, so, when he would drop by, he would generally come for not more than 15-20 mins. My paternal grandma, unfortunately didn't approve of his visits but my grandpa was always cordial.

My mother would feel awkward I think (in hindsight) but she never let it show. She would make him some tea/coffee everytime he came and it would always be accompanied with some dry snack. He would gobble it up quickly and make small-talk with me. I don't remember at all what we would talk about. But it was fun. I was very attached to my maternal grandparents and my 3 cousins, so I know that I always asked about them. They all lived together. And then I think we spoke a lot of random but interesting-to-a-kid kinda stuff :)

Then it would be time for him to leave. By this time, I would be primed into the conversation and would feel really angry that he's leaving just when things were becoming interesting. But he would have to leave anyway. My mother would ALWAYS hand him some money at that time and tell him in a stern but kind voice to either use the money well or give it to my grandma but not waste it. He would nod ever so sincerely. The fact that he never followed through, is a different story :-) 

And then he would leave. Mom and I would stand in our balcony and watch him go with a wave. Sometimes, I would notice a small tear in her eyes. I don't know what these visits meant for my mom.. But for me, it was someone coming from the land of my grandparents and my cousins. I remember that in a few of his visits, I have hurriedly written small notes for my cousins in torn pages of rough books. There was no way to know if they ever received it, read it or knew about it in those days of no phones or communication. But it was like a messenger had come and I had a message to send :)

Those visits stopped long ago. Mama is long gone too. But these random, fleeting memories come by suddenly like a gush of wind sometimes. 

As I travelled today from one place to another, I saw a roadside thela (stall) selling men's handkerchieves. The signal was red and we were parked right next to this thela :-) One particular kerchief was dark blue with black & red lines. It was the same one like what Mama used to carry always :-)

And just like that, I thought of my Navin Mama and said a small prayer for him :-)

It's your turn to share your story :-)

20 comments:

  1. One random kerchief can take us to the deepest hidden memories in our subconscious πŸ˜ƒπŸ€—πŸ€—❣️❣️ I remembered my pen friend who was my grandfather’s youngest brother.. we only wrote letters to him and he wrote us back.. got us subscriptions to children magazines when no one around me had one… and sent us money stuck in letters with a random silly question… and with answer written under the note.. πŸ˜ƒ all this I remembered as I was reading this!

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    1. This is so cute and lovely. To have someone encourage kids to read in the way your pen friend has, is so special!! :) These are fortunate experiences!

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  2. Very nice and poignant at the same time

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  3. So touching!

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  4. Wow it brought a Tear in my eyes too..somehow as we grow up we forget these small little incidents that left an impact on us even though we don't remember them vividly ..reading this suddenly I miss my mama ..smi u really know how to simply express such strong emotions in such simple wordsπŸ’“always wait for them and keep wanting mote..u should write more often girl❤️

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    1. Thank you malssiii...... No matter how they are, Mamas have a special spot no :)

      I wait for your comment every single time I put up a post... Special you are too πŸ’œ

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  5. Such a sweet memory... Do write more... Waiting to read many more such anecdotes from you... You took me back to so many memories too...

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  6. You too share some of those memories with us Anu :-)

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  7. When the world comes full circle to bring up a long forgotten and sometimes repressed memory, it is a incredible moment. Much has been said about nostalgia, but not enough gets said about the joy of knowing what triggers it. For me it is the smell of paan that's truly evocative of my paternal grandma with whom I had a tumultuous relationship. But I always harken back to her incredible dominion over us all inspite of being less than 5 ft tall. And because I know it is the smell of paan that will bring back those memories, I often turn to that smell with a smile.

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  8. What a great post Smi! The content about someone from the land of grandparents n cousins gets to me. You took me back to my memories of summer holidays as a kid. I used to cry so much when it was time to come back. My maasis would laugh at it saying were are not sending you to your in-laws. You are just going back home. Hahahhahaha

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  9. As usual Smi it's such a cute and heartwarming post πŸ™‚ we all have such childhood memories but you have put it so beautifully in words :) love your blogs!

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  10. So nicely written! Felt like I was reading an RK Laxman story straight out of Malgudi Days. Simple real life character told from the eyes of one person :)

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    1. Hahahahaha .... RKL will haunt you if you say such things!

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  11. Nishu Negandhi4 July 2024 at 08:31

    The grace Indian parents show and expect towards relatives who do not act as per society norms! It's amazing how you trigger conversations! And get people to share feelings buried... So, had an aunt in law whose visits home would trigger my parents to fight. And I obviously hated it. I hope I some day I forgive her behaviour...not yet unfortunately

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    1. So true about parents, Nishu. I don't think we or our generation has enough of that grace from our parents! And it's ok to not forgive I think. It's controversial. But being human and not always wanting or trying to be the higher human is also something so normal and ok :) don't be hard on yourself about that aunt ok :)

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  12. Ohhh Ipshi. I so very faintly recollect us both discussing briefly our respective grandmas in school. But I don't remember much, do you?? You are right.... Triggers to nostalgia are a whole different but significant chapter! Thanks for sharing this.... Down the memory lane is a bittersweet journey!

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