Lies, Fake Stories and Exaggerations I have mastered!
It all started when I had a baby. There were these “reflex’ white lies …
- Are you sleeping as soon as the baby sleeps – oh yes I am !
- There’s no such thing as post-partum blues or depression – of course there isn’t !
- Hope you have started working on yourself and all the extra weight – Yes I barely eat !
- Hope you eat everything and aren’t already thinking of weight loss – Yes .. Everything !
- Hope you aren’t swaddling the poor child – No I am not !
- Hope you swaddle him every time he sleeps – Yes Yes !
Then there were exaggerations!
- I am so happy that the moment the baby closes his eyes to sleep, I fall into deep sleep myself and wake up only when he opens his eyes! Not a second on the mobile/TV or any other thing!
- I am eating all the laddoos in the world and haven’t put on a single kg of weight!
- I don’t have any issues with breastfeeding and latching – come on! I was born to do this!
- Etc, Etc.
I thought this was all there was to it. But Boy was I wrong!!
Now I have reached a higher level of lies, exaggerations and fake stories!
- Moon uncle had called to say you must brush your teeth EVERY. DAY.!
- Sun uncle is crying because you are not eating and that’s why it is raining! Those are Sun uncle's tears!
- Dinosaur aaya thha dekhne ki munna abhi tak soya ki nahi!
- Yes – I always eat everything that is cooked whether I like it or no!
- Yes – I always sleep at 8pm!
- When I was 2, I even cooked my own food!
- Lion aa gaya!
- Modi uncle ne lockdown kar diya fridge ka!
- Cleaning Uncle ate up ALL the wafers!
- Yeh Chai nahi hai – Dragon ka juice hai! Don’t touch it!
- This is not medicine – Yeh to meetha yellow colour ka juice hai!
- Mumma’s mobile is a gun!
And so on and on and on, every single day! While it is hilarious on most days, it’s also a bit exhausting because soon even these lies aren’t going to work on this small, adorable but extremely adamant and stubborn little being. And the scary bit is that he remembers these lies while I forget them the instant they leave my mouth.
I was having tea with the hubby one afternoon. He came running to me and slapped the glass of tea away in horror saying “mumma noooo – daaaaaagon juuuuiiiicceee”!!
Mittu, brilliant stuff!
ReplyDeleteOur little one is keeping an eye on your every move :p
My fav is modi uncle ne lockdown kar diya fridge ka.... Hahaha. This one is too good. New one for all the 2020 mommys :D
Fun read! Those cute lil white lies :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha.. so creative all these lies are! No wonder all parents become such amazing storytellers! *Hugs* to you and *cuddles* to Tanay!
ReplyDeleteIt's good you're making a note of your "white" lies now...you need to respond appropriately when he throws it back at you..like with the dragon juice. 😊
ReplyDeleteThat you got time to write this itself is a huge achivement. Well done hai 😁
Smita! Kidhar ti tu!! Write more.. tanay and me escapades plssssss
ReplyDeleteThese are so cute... Cleaning uncle ate wafers.. this is not chai... :-) Keep writing Smi... Whenever u get time...
ReplyDeleteThis one was funniestand cutest...
Hahaha! So funny yet adorable :)
ReplyDeleteLove it! Please please write more..
Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteJust too good.I enjoyed it so much that kept rereading!!!!
Write mire often......its fun toread your loveky experiences with that awesome “ being”.
Super super super
ReplyDeleteReally nice Smi... would love to read more of your and Tanay stories:)
ReplyDeleteMistas my stomach hurts laughing....superb! Keep writing ..you are so good! Next time I visit lil T and I are going to have a daagon juice party🙂
ReplyDeleteNew norms of the home aajkal courtesy you and baby. Everyone is addressing themselves in third person. Everyone is making up stories. Everyone is watching nursery rhymes only.
ReplyDeleteNext post on your pretend plays with him. Jaldi likh.
Ha ha lockdown kar diya fridge ka!
ReplyDeleteHaha love love love it..Smita u must pen down stories of our little babu...must say your imagination is lovely..super like ..
ReplyDeleteI almost imagined bubba running in slow motion to save his mum... isn't it awe-inspiring how incredibly important you must be in his life right now... that your every word is regarded with life-affirming importance, that your every promise is relished as the ultimate word, that your simple assurance is enough to drive the dragons away. This is in stark contrast with the lies you tell other adults, who oftentimes know you are lying and sometimes don't really care.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy this feeling of importance while it lasts and give it the kind of validation it deserves. Hugs!
Hahaha the "dragon juice" stole my ❤
ReplyDeleteNow every morning when i have my cup of dragon juice i will be reminded of Tanay and his mom! U two make the cutest mom-som duo....lots of hugs n kisses 🤗😘