The last time I wrote my blog post, was on the last day of Ganesh Chathurti in 2017.
And I'm attempting to restart my blog again during Ganesh Chathurti, a full two years later!
A lot has conspired in these two years! A LOT ! But that's for later! For now, let me tell you about that day two years ago!
That day will always remain a special one for me.
I was upset and feeling particularly hopeless throughout the day. A lot of questions were unanswered in my mind, a lot of situations looked helpless and there was a desperation in me to find answers and solutions.
My ever so helpful husband decided that a walk towards Shivaji Park where we would see a lot of the Lord's idols would surely fill me with some much needed optimism. Or, at least, we could eat a vadapav since my mood had ensured the kitchen remained closed for dinner that night!! Hehehe!
The park is a good 25-30 mins walk from my house. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate any kind of exercise. I've taken cabs and autos for 2-3 min distances too! But that day was different. Moreover, roads were closed for visarjan and we wouldn't have found any transport either. So, we started walking!
By the time we reached half the distance, I was a dangerous mix of anger and hunger. This resulted in the questions in my mind gaining demonic proportions. I was extremely emotional and annoyed. Husband smartly figured that he had to extremely quickly either stuff my mouth with food or give perfect answers to my questions, else he would have to sleep hungry and scared, in the hall, without a pillow or blanket.
Our speeds increased: His - in the urgent quest to find the vadapav, mine - to just do something to make myself feel a sense of accomplishment!
But, both the vadapav and my achievement, were still a fair distance from where we were! Just when the desolation was creeping back into both of us, I saw a huge black figure covered in haze in front of me. The haze was a result of fumes from unnecessary and really loud crackers. But I admit, it did give the evening a dramatic moment. As the haze cleared, I saw him! I saw the baby faced Lord Ganpati idol, that I grew up seeing year after year after year! The huge one, who was my favorite from all idols I've loved, adored and worshipped. The one, who I had only seen once in that season because he wasn't close from where I stayed! He was from where my parents lived. He was family. And he came all the way, timing it in such a way, that I would come face to face with him just when I needed a sign!!
There he was... In all his glory, telling me, that I'm just a speck in this whole wide universe. Telling me that I'm making a mountain out of my molehill. Telling me that there are bigger problems in this world needing his attention. And telling me to fight my battles with the strength and courage he has given me in all these years.
As tears started following from my eyes, I prayed to him with a sense of unbelievable achievement, accomplishment, positivity and love. I realized my questions will get their answers eventually and my situations will figure a way out.... And for this, I had to be happy, healthy, kind and optimistic, even if I felt that it's the most difficult thing to do! As I looked at the idol go past me, I realized, that the force of nature is as much inside us, as it's outside! And the solution has been with us at all times waiting to be discovered!
So, with this unlimited renewed enthusiasm, very quickly, I tightly clutched my husband's hand and pulled him to the vadapav wala, who was smiling widely and waiting for us, armed with hot, tangy vadapavs in both his hands!!
Bappa Morya! :-)
And I'm attempting to restart my blog again during Ganesh Chathurti, a full two years later!
A lot has conspired in these two years! A LOT ! But that's for later! For now, let me tell you about that day two years ago!
That day will always remain a special one for me.
I was upset and feeling particularly hopeless throughout the day. A lot of questions were unanswered in my mind, a lot of situations looked helpless and there was a desperation in me to find answers and solutions.
My ever so helpful husband decided that a walk towards Shivaji Park where we would see a lot of the Lord's idols would surely fill me with some much needed optimism. Or, at least, we could eat a vadapav since my mood had ensured the kitchen remained closed for dinner that night!! Hehehe!
The park is a good 25-30 mins walk from my house. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate any kind of exercise. I've taken cabs and autos for 2-3 min distances too! But that day was different. Moreover, roads were closed for visarjan and we wouldn't have found any transport either. So, we started walking!
By the time we reached half the distance, I was a dangerous mix of anger and hunger. This resulted in the questions in my mind gaining demonic proportions. I was extremely emotional and annoyed. Husband smartly figured that he had to extremely quickly either stuff my mouth with food or give perfect answers to my questions, else he would have to sleep hungry and scared, in the hall, without a pillow or blanket.
Our speeds increased: His - in the urgent quest to find the vadapav, mine - to just do something to make myself feel a sense of accomplishment!
But, both the vadapav and my achievement, were still a fair distance from where we were! Just when the desolation was creeping back into both of us, I saw a huge black figure covered in haze in front of me. The haze was a result of fumes from unnecessary and really loud crackers. But I admit, it did give the evening a dramatic moment. As the haze cleared, I saw him! I saw the baby faced Lord Ganpati idol, that I grew up seeing year after year after year! The huge one, who was my favorite from all idols I've loved, adored and worshipped. The one, who I had only seen once in that season because he wasn't close from where I stayed! He was from where my parents lived. He was family. And he came all the way, timing it in such a way, that I would come face to face with him just when I needed a sign!!
There he was... In all his glory, telling me, that I'm just a speck in this whole wide universe. Telling me that I'm making a mountain out of my molehill. Telling me that there are bigger problems in this world needing his attention. And telling me to fight my battles with the strength and courage he has given me in all these years.
As tears started following from my eyes, I prayed to him with a sense of unbelievable achievement, accomplishment, positivity and love. I realized my questions will get their answers eventually and my situations will figure a way out.... And for this, I had to be happy, healthy, kind and optimistic, even if I felt that it's the most difficult thing to do! As I looked at the idol go past me, I realized, that the force of nature is as much inside us, as it's outside! And the solution has been with us at all times waiting to be discovered!
So, with this unlimited renewed enthusiasm, very quickly, I tightly clutched my husband's hand and pulled him to the vadapav wala, who was smiling widely and waiting for us, armed with hot, tangy vadapavs in both his hands!!
Bappa Morya! :-)
So sweet this story is... May he always bless you with peace and stability.... Keep writing Smi... Can relate to your stories at so many levels....
ReplyDeleteHonest writing!
ReplyDeleteYou have so eloquently expressed your emotions it made me cry....made me feel what you were feeling. Heartful and so touching.keep writing.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing that we need to seek outside of us , whatever is out there is very much within us , the outer manifestations are nothing but the true and earnest longing from within us , keep such thoughts going , way to go .....
ReplyDeleteNice lucid writing. You have a way with words.
ReplyDeleteHow was the Vada Pav :)
Wow and how !!! Very easily u described what we all are going through in life ..and yes we must ignore all the little problems that we are facing and be grateful for what we have...❤❤and so glad u back to this blog ���� Moryaaaa������
ReplyDeleteThere's a famous song in Tamil, 'Vinayagane vinai theerpavane' - translated, it means Vinayaka, the remover of obstacles. The day 'He' chose to meet you, was the day you were in the pits.. You glanced at him and the mist cleared. May his Grace always be with you.
ReplyDeleteMoments of clarity like these have defined my life in so many ways. Religion and faith are both very good at showing us that we are just parts of a whole and that we all need to hold on to our part and do our parts to make this world go around.
ReplyDeleteThe 2 years since this gorgeously brought-alive moment are also testament to this. You have blossomed into your role as a mother just as well as all your other roles. I am always made aware of how small my part is in your world, and while I wish that wasn't true, this makes me able to observe your world from an outside point of view.
I'm so incredibly proud of your writing and sense of self and the strength of truth you bring with your presence. Please keep writing. We all need more of this.
What a beautiful and hopeful first article after two years. Two years ago we didn't know each other and see where we are now;we know each other, happy and ever hopeful with our two laddu Gopals.
ReplyDeleteNicely written. 😊 Write often...we want moryaaaa!
ReplyDeleteLoved reading your work....fills me with a sense of pride.Keep writing.....god bless!
ReplyDelete