Friday 1 December 2023

Mom Chronicles #6

 

So, my little one is now 5. He's a very busy guy. He attends school grudgingly every day, he has a few hobby and sport classes that he does after school, he plays at home with lot of things and finally, in all his left over time, he attends Birthday Parties of his classmates. 


Now this is a whole Universe in itself - Birthday Party Universe.


You don't know anything about it until you are a parent. You have a kid who's an infant and you still don't know about this universe. 

Then your kid walks into school for the very first time and BAM!!! You are suddenly a key stakeholder in this universe!


It's privileged entry only. ;)


And once you enter, you realise this universe is actually a whirlpool. Enter once and forget there is an exit. 


It's a non-stop loop of birthday parties. You attend 50 parties - then you invite 60 - then you attend those 10 extra - by then it's time for the first 50 - then there are newer friends - then you invite old + new friends and then this is an unbelievable, irrational and infinite number and you can't keep up!


And oh, there is also the Gifts! Gifts you give, return gifts you get, Gifts you get, return gifts you give. And don't forget, there are boy gifts, girl gifts and the more acceptable gender neutral gifts. 


Then there's the type of Birthday Parties! Play area parties, time zone parties, hosted parties, home parties, spa parties, themed parties, activity parties, movie parties and I'm sure in time to come, there will be parties with the theme of 'not a party' !


Now here's where this Universe is tricky in our particular case. 


Half of the birthday parties my son and I have attended are because the mother of the birthday kid and I are friends and not because our children are friends!! :-) Can you believe it! 


You know me well enough to know that I find it 'relatively' easy to make new acquaintances. And if there is a vibe-match, I try my best to make a meaningful friendship out of it - one of the skills/perks of being a single child myself!! And since you know me, you somewhat know my child too - and you know that he's taken after his father in this particular area and lacks this skill/expertise to a very large extent ! 


My little chap struggles to make friends. He has a select few he adores passionately and then there are the rest. So being his parent and loaded with my own colourful insecurities, I go against conventional wisdom and try to bridge this gap for him. 


And that's how we find ourselves in birthday parties where he doesn't even know who the birthday kid is. 


This one time, we were gathered around the birthday Girl and the birthday cake and my child was suddenly enlightened and with a huge smile said :- ohhhhhh we have come for herrrrrrrrr birthday, yes yes mumma I know her! Imagine my surprise, happiness, relief and worry (that the parent might have overheard this) in that moment. I treated him and me to an extra piece of cake that day :-)


If I were miraculously invited on Koffee with Karan and in the rapid fire if he asked me to describe this year in one word, I'd add a word to it and say "birthday parties" ! That's how this year has been!


But it has translated into my little one finding a bit of a firm ground for himself in a crowd. It has helped him add a few more precious friends in his selective basket. It has helped him understand mumma has her own friends and sometimes, she too can eat the bigger piece of cake :-)


And in what's possibly the biggest return gift for me from this universe - it's made it easy for a 40 year old mumma to find like minded, fun loving, wise women, on whom she can rely on for some of the toughest moments of parenting! 


And so, CHEERS to this Universe that turns a mumma into a Momzilla and a kid into a Wondrous Mess Of Magic ✨