Mom Chronicles #6

 

So, my little one is now 5. He's a very busy guy. He attends school grudgingly every day, he has a few hobby and sport classes that he does after school, he plays at home with lot of things and finally, in all his left over time, he attends Birthday Parties of his classmates. 

Now this is a whole Universe in itself - Birthday Party Universe.

You don't know anything about it until you are a parent. You have a kid who's an infant and you still don't know about this universe. 

Then your kid walks into school for the very first time and BAM!!! You are suddenly a key stakeholder in this universe!

It's privileged entry only. ;)

And once you enter, you realise this universe is actually a whirlpool. Enter once and forget there is an exit. 

It's a non-stop loop of birthday parties. You attend 50 parties - then you invite 60 - then you attend those 10 extra - by then it's time for the first 50 - then there are newer friends - then you invite old + new friends and then this is an unbelievable, irrational and infinite number and you can't keep up!

And oh, there is also the Gifts! Gifts you give, return gifts you get, Gifts you get, return gifts you give. And don't forget, there are boy gifts, girl gifts and the more acceptable gender neutral gifts. 

Then there's the type of Birthday Parties! Play area parties, time zone parties, hosted parties, home parties, spa parties, themed parties, activity parties, movie parties and I'm sure in time to come, there will be parties with the theme of 'not a party' !

Now here's where this Universe is tricky in our particular case. 

Half of the birthday parties my son and I have attended are because the mother of the birthday kid and I are friends and not because our children are friends!! :-) Can you believe it! 

You know me well enough to know that I find it 'relatively' easy to make new acquaintances. And if there is a vibe-match, I try my best to make a meaningful friendship out of it - one of the skills/perks of being a single child myself!! And since you know me, you somewhat know my child too - and you know that he's taken after his father in this particular area and lacks this skill/expertise to a very large extent ! 

My little chap struggles to make friends. He has a select few he adores passionately and then there are the rest. So being his parent and loaded with my own colourful insecurities, I go against conventional wisdom and try to bridge this gap for him. 

And that's how we find ourselves in birthday parties where he doesn't even know who the birthday kid is. 

This one time, we were gathered around the birthday Girl and the birthday cake and my child was suddenly enlightened and with a huge smile said :- ohhhhhh we have come for herrrrrrrrr birthday, yes yes mumma I know her! Imagine my surprise, happiness, relief and worry (that the parent might have overheard this) in that moment. I treated him and me to an extra piece of cake that day :-)

If I were miraculously invited on Koffee with Karan and in the rapid fire if he asked me to describe this year in one word, I'd add a word to it and say "birthday parties" ! That's how this year has been!

But it has translated into my little one finding a bit of a firm ground for himself in a crowd. It has helped him add a few more precious friends in his selective basket. It has helped him understand mumma has her own friends and sometimes, she too can eat the bigger piece of cake :-)

And in what's possibly the biggest return gift for me from this universe - it's made it easy for a 40 year old mumma to find like minded, fun loving, wise women, on whom she can rely on for some of the toughest moments of parenting! 

And so, CHEERS to this Universe that turns a mumma into a Momzilla and a kid into a Wondrous Mess Of Magic ✨

Ek garam Chai ya Mocha ho !

As usual it’s been a while. 

Every time I write a blogpost, I genuinely feel that I have now reached a point where thoughts and words are going to flow ever so easily and there are going to be posts after posts after posts. And every time I post a post and come back to write another post, I realise that there is no post but a drought of words and posts ! Sigh !

Yet, here I am, back after "post" drought for one more Post :-) 

I’m going to tell you about a morning which taught me an important life lesson!

It started with an encounter with a barista at a coffee shop that I visit regularly.

She didn’t look happy…. Her “Good Morning” was filled with disdain and displayed immense lack of interest in me. 

I asked for a cold brew - because I am cool like that :-)

She responded with “Chhee” ! And a look of horror on her face..

Me (shocked and err a bit scared): Excuse me? 

She: Cold brew kyu? - with that same disdain…

Me: Ok, so what then, if I shouldn’t take cold brew…… with a quivering voice and fake courage…

She, defiantly: I don’t know ma’am, it’s your choice….. 

At this point, my brain wasn’t sure if she was giving me a hint about how cold brew was bad there or she was just angry with my choice and wanted me to pick another. If you know me, you know I am a die-hard people pleaser and often I don’t consider myself one of those people to be pleased. So I gave in and asked for “chai tea latte”. 

She: Madam aapka choice hai, dekh lo!

Me: Bye! And turned around to go back to my table at astonishing speed!

I decided that this was the best way ahead for me. It was God who was indirectly discouraging me from having a cold brew with outside water. Maybe it wasn’t the right choice in monsoon. I made my peace with God’s voice and sat at the table drinking hot water that I had from home. 

The barista on the other hand was a bit scared. She felt that this could potentially lead to a complaint, so she came to my seat and tried small talk and offered a cold brew. By this point, I had disavowed cold brew from my life itself. But curiosity got the better of me and I asked her why she reacted like that. She said in a softer tone that she had gotten completely drenched in the rain while on her way to work and the thought of a cold drink instantly evoked that sentiment, but she shouldn’t have said it out loud. I could understand…. Mumbai monsoons are crazy. They are wild and dirty. Not a combination for rain, of all things :-)

I sympathised and she left. She came back in ten mins, sat at my table and got us 2 piping hot mochas - Meri taraf se ma’am - let’s enjoy :)

That was a wonderful morning right there :-)

I left from there in a zippy mood. Tea and good company was a great combination!

I walked up to the auto stand where I was instantly rejected by a few autowallahs who wanted to go to the moon but I had so stupidly asked to be dropped to Bandruhhh! 

One guy said aajao madam, sabne hi mana kar diya. I have a feeling he was mocking me - but I had also lost any will to fight by then ……. I was in his auto for 17 mins, but “Yeh satra minute” were full of lessons. 

He asked me why I was in such a rush, I said I had to pick up my son from school and I was running a bit late.

As soon as I sat in his auto, he started talking loudly on the phone with someone, the conversation was filled liberally with ingenious profanities. He was actually arguing heatedly, about the colour of paint that the person at the other end had chosen for some important wall at home. Argument had turned into an impasse, when he suddenly threatened to not buy chicken for that night. After a moment of deafening silence, the other person relented. 

I was impressed at the power of chicken.

This guy was happy and victorious and he smiled at me and said, madam chicken sab cheez theek kar deta hai. I smiled back marvelling at what had unfolded. He asked aap nahi khaate? I said No. He was annoyed:- “kya hi faayda phir”. 

He stopped talking to me after that. He looked unhappy too. I couldn’t believe I had spoiled someone’s mood just by not eating chicken. We stopped at a signal and he bought tea for himself from a vendor and drank it in one shot. I could see it was really hot, but well, this level of anger at me had made him immune to heat, it seems. 

By the time we reached my destination, his mood had lightened and I think he decided to forgive me, thanks to that hot tea. He said chalo koi nahi madam. Lekin ek request hai- aapke ladke ko aap jaisa mat banaao madam, usko life mein chai aur chicken zaroor khilaana! Kyunki dukh to bohot hai, lekin khushi isi mein hai !! And zoomed off yelling more profanities on other autos and cars around. 

It was a busy morning mentally for me. The two people I had encountered, had had to deal with issues at their own end, had decided to judge me from their own loaded lens, but the common placating factor for both of them, was a hot, nicely brewed cuppa. 

So, as I stood thinking about them in the school pick-up line, I realised that truly there are many trials and tribulations in life, problems and issues being hurled at you at breakneck speed, but what do they really hold to a good cup of well brewed hot tea or coffee eh ….. chicken notwithstanding :) :)

Ek garam chai ya mocha ki pyaali ho!